15 Comments

This really hit home as I lost a friend who was a few years younger than I recently. I had a similar cancer as she did but managed to be okay with just surgery (and then again with another unrelated cancer). So not only do I miss her but I feel survivor's guilt.

But on a happier note, one of our winemakers came into the lab the other day wearing a Check Your Head t-shirt. I knew what she was looking for but asked her, "So what'cha, what'cha want?" and got to feel like the cleverest kid on the block for two seconds.

Expand full comment
author

Survivor's Guilt is an intense thing. I think about that a lot too.

Expand full comment

Really good stuff this week, man

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, sir!

Expand full comment

Deep stuff this week. But definitely good stuff. Mourning is hard at any age. Kudos to you Will for stopping smoking.

Expand full comment
author

I feel like I cheated by using Chantix -- which they won't even prescribe anymore -- but whatever works!

Expand full comment

Love your not often pondered perspective.

My 90 year old mom expressed fear of, when gone, being missed by her 83 year old sister who lived next door. She was right. My aunt was distraught for the remainder of her life when my mom did pass at 92.

Survivors suffer.

BTW, what was your cholesterol miracle drug ? When i switched to Lipitor I was certain the good numbers were a mistake. They weren't.

Long live Will Leitch.

Expand full comment
author

No miracle drug! Just trying to eat a little better. And run a little faster.

Expand full comment

This hits home for me because yesterday my 85 year old father called me to say that he has *something* in his lung, a something that could be nothing or it could be *something* and we won't know for sure until he has a biopsy on the 17th. He wasn't around for most of my childhood and we didn't really have much of a relationship at all until he became a grandfather to my children. I'm old enough now and we've talked around the subject enough to know that he would do it all differently if he could, which is a balm of sorts to the little girl who still lives inside me. But I don't really know what to do with this feeling that's sitting in my chest, this feeling that there may not be enough time. There's never enough time, really, but I can really feel it right now.

Expand full comment
author

Oh, I'm sorry. It's a very intense thing, all this!

Expand full comment

I'm surprised you didn't ask the nurse why in fact she asked that question, but also why she didn't automatically state a reason for asking that question. Odd.

Another great song with a dog barking intro:

https://youtu.be/jrwjiO1MCVs?feature=shared 🤘

Expand full comment
author

I dunno ... I think I was just in a hurry to get back to work!

Expand full comment

The relationship you have with your kids is beautiful and they are going to have so many great memories (and there's many more to come!). Thanks for sharing, gives us childfree people lots to think about, too.

Expand full comment

I’m noticing a trend of people smoking cigarettes again. It’s like they forgot about lung cancer.

Expand full comment
author

Well ... it's a pretty stressful time! (That was always when I smoked the most.)

Expand full comment